That was one of your best posts do far. I just lived it. Every word play hit a solid idea, it was structured beautifully, and most of all it made me laugh till I cried at my own craziness. Thank you.
-I needed to do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do as much as po-po-po-po-possible.
-Honk-honk “what da fugg buddy”, and a car crash half a mile up the road has me stuck in traffic and late for an appointment.
-Seeing more doesn’t mean that I see more. Being seen more doesn’t mean that I mean more.
-So maybe it’s less about doing less, and more about doing just one thing exactly how it needs to be done.
your audience
-humans stuck on the hamster wheel who need a couple screws screwed loose
-travellers, artists, and people sick of boring writing
-anarchists
notes
-i loved it.
-great shiny dime & story wrap-up at the beginning & da end
-the list was cool cuz it was concrete examples that I found very relatable
-ive wracked my brain in terms of what could be better and tbh couldn't think of anything beyond, i didn't listen to the beginning song or the ending song. if its not a song i know already, i skip it.
maybes to consider
-there wasn't much of a turning point in the story. a bit one note. but you do keep the reader interested by engaging the whole way through with word play & presenting the same idea but in different frames
-not much emotion. its like relax, stress, stress, stress, relax
-i dont know what the piece is about based on the title. which is cool like a mystery but also if i'm lazy, i'd just be like eh, i wonder what that was about.
“a lesson, not a more-on” love that. It took a few years of cohabiting with a Caribbean man who downright refuses to rush before I finally came around to the simpler life, but boy am I ever grateful I did
... time machine worth it just for that... fix the Seinfeld series finale with a Jamaica nothing, and then throw away the machine... but never mind... why am I adding more here?...
You couldn't have done more to make your point.
...i certainly could have done less...
That was one of your best posts do far. I just lived it. Every word play hit a solid idea, it was structured beautifully, and most of all it made me laugh till I cried at my own craziness. Thank you.
…very kind words!…thank you so much for checking it out and stoked it hit for you :)…here’s to less for us all!…
Suddenly I can hear “wagwannnn” in my ears. A beautiful piece… this piece is like floating on an island of simplicity in a sea of excess
…thank you so much…it felt good to see say and release…wagwannnn…
CANSASFIS WOW INCREDIBLE.
faves
-I needed to do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do as much as po-po-po-po-possible.
-Honk-honk “what da fugg buddy”, and a car crash half a mile up the road has me stuck in traffic and late for an appointment.
-Seeing more doesn’t mean that I see more. Being seen more doesn’t mean that I mean more.
-So maybe it’s less about doing less, and more about doing just one thing exactly how it needs to be done.
your audience
-humans stuck on the hamster wheel who need a couple screws screwed loose
-travellers, artists, and people sick of boring writing
-anarchists
notes
-i loved it.
-great shiny dime & story wrap-up at the beginning & da end
-the list was cool cuz it was concrete examples that I found very relatable
-ive wracked my brain in terms of what could be better and tbh couldn't think of anything beyond, i didn't listen to the beginning song or the ending song. if its not a song i know already, i skip it.
maybes to consider
-there wasn't much of a turning point in the story. a bit one note. but you do keep the reader interested by engaging the whole way through with word play & presenting the same idea but in different frames
-not much emotion. its like relax, stress, stress, stress, relax
-i dont know what the piece is about based on the title. which is cool like a mystery but also if i'm lazy, i'd just be like eh, i wonder what that was about.
…this is amazing feedback…beyond appreciative…which i think is called bepreciative…
“a lesson, not a more-on” love that. It took a few years of cohabiting with a Caribbean man who downright refuses to rush before I finally came around to the simpler life, but boy am I ever grateful I did
…estoy jeloso…
Doing nothing in Jamaica feels quite different than a Seinfeld nothing
…seinfeld in jamaica is what the series finale should have been!…
... time machine worth it just for that... fix the Seinfeld series finale with a Jamaica nothing, and then throw away the machine... but never mind... why am I adding more here?...
...this might be the only way to stop a.i. from eating us all next year...
Aw man, Jamaica is the best.
…truly mind melting…