This essay talks about depression, suicide, and dancing the limbo. It’s Halloween so I can show you my monsters. If you have never been to limbo, I’m hoping this helps share what it looked and felt like to me. Thanks as always for your eyes, ears, and most of all YOUR BRAINS!
Hey CansaFis, super intense. The pain and losses in your life make an extended season of depression almost inevitable if you kept your heart open and your mind switched on--as you obviously did. Hopefully, with age and widening experience you're seeing more and more the other side of the coin--all the people who love you and admire you and respect you. It can't cancel the pain but it can shift it from the in-your-face foreground to the always there but manageable back ground. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us.
…appreciate you brother…after i got over this hump i do see continual improvement and a widening of experience…was an arduous path and the journey has just begun…but the work is working :)…
Generally the best souls are subjected to the most difficult, painful (and seemingly unjust) trials--it's not punishment, it's a refiner's fire that purifies away the dross and impurities with which they arrived in the world and refines and beautifies these souls until they each become a unique, precious and useful alloy that is a gift to the world.
Your talent for making the profound and the profane visible as one and the same is your gift. I remember you sharing this year's ago with me. "I made a commitment to myself to do something different every day, knowing that if I kept doing the same things the same way I would end up right back where I was, or worse." Amazing to hear more of the background of what was going on with you at this time.
Great essay CansaFis, I really appreciate you opening up and sharing. It’s so hard to help ourselves let alone others. Sharing like this is one of the best ways.
Thank you for helping destigmatize our need to talk openly about depression and suicide. I know you are helping others by sharing your story. Love you.
Grateful that you are here and sharing yourself despite the, like @ChrisCoffman said, 'inevitable' encounters with weight. Thankfully, through the sciences (of the brain), we are able to see it as a "refiner's fire".
Thank you for being a great human being, CansaFis! 💛
…appreciate you Licinda…we can control only so much of the surrounding world but the internal is ours to curate…but also sometimes easy to forget that great power…
Absolutely. Feeling comes with a lot of responsibility, including bringing ourselves into existence..Stay strong- we may not be in the same boat, but we are not alone♥️
Brave, touching, thought provoking, really enjoyed hearing you read this one. Thank you for sharing, happy you made the choice to do something different every day, thanks for encouraging us to do the same.
... different life story... but have walked to the very edge and almost jumped... Not sure if I backed away far enough, though... What you say here is helpful... more so, I imagine, than whatever therapy I could have...
Hey CansaFis, super intense. The pain and losses in your life make an extended season of depression almost inevitable if you kept your heart open and your mind switched on--as you obviously did. Hopefully, with age and widening experience you're seeing more and more the other side of the coin--all the people who love you and admire you and respect you. It can't cancel the pain but it can shift it from the in-your-face foreground to the always there but manageable back ground. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us.
…appreciate you brother…after i got over this hump i do see continual improvement and a widening of experience…was an arduous path and the journey has just begun…but the work is working :)…
Generally the best souls are subjected to the most difficult, painful (and seemingly unjust) trials--it's not punishment, it's a refiner's fire that purifies away the dross and impurities with which they arrived in the world and refines and beautifies these souls until they each become a unique, precious and useful alloy that is a gift to the world.
Your talent for making the profound and the profane visible as one and the same is your gift. I remember you sharing this year's ago with me. "I made a commitment to myself to do something different every day, knowing that if I kept doing the same things the same way I would end up right back where I was, or worse." Amazing to hear more of the background of what was going on with you at this time.
Great essay CansaFis, I really appreciate you opening up and sharing. It’s so hard to help ourselves let alone others. Sharing like this is one of the best ways.
...thank you so much Michelle...still seeking more means of available vulnerability when/where available...
“Depression wasn’t the ghost on display.
I was.”
So beautiful
Thank you for helping destigmatize our need to talk openly about depression and suicide. I know you are helping others by sharing your story. Love you.
...appreciate you and your love and support!...
Grateful that you are here and sharing yourself despite the, like @ChrisCoffman said, 'inevitable' encounters with weight. Thankfully, through the sciences (of the brain), we are able to see it as a "refiner's fire".
Thank you for being a great human being, CansaFis! 💛
…appreciate you Licinda…we can control only so much of the surrounding world but the internal is ours to curate…but also sometimes easy to forget that great power…
Absolutely. Feeling comes with a lot of responsibility, including bringing ourselves into existence..Stay strong- we may not be in the same boat, but we are not alone♥️
Brave, touching, thought provoking, really enjoyed hearing you read this one. Thank you for sharing, happy you made the choice to do something different every day, thanks for encouraging us to do the same.
Thanks for sharing your journey!
...feels weird to say my pleasure...maybe i say my displeasurable pleasure instead...thank you!...
<3 <3 <3
... different life story... but have walked to the very edge and almost jumped... Not sure if I backed away far enough, though... What you say here is helpful... more so, I imagine, than whatever therapy I could have...
... barely letting my monsters out...
...it's hard but the more we free them the more we might play with them...