…a.i. has made reading you unbearable…

...a letter for a friends...

editor’s note:: This piece was written entirely by A.I. (my proprietary LLM model Allturd Itchcock™, which for sake of suspense I will reveal to just be my mind holding the shadow of a knife).

Dedicated to whoever you think it is.

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“Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.”

-Carl Jung-

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I quit reading you even if your data doesn’t tell you so yet. I am pretending to care just as much as it seems you do. You started sounding like someone else. Your voice isn’t yours anymore. You sound so certain and boring. You look like a template. You read like a spell check.

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE laTEST TOOL?

I understand why you took this path. Your enthusiasm to be present in tech-now-logy is proudly displayed in your avatar. Thanks for using your robot to teach me how I might robot too.

We used to rage against machines now we want to fuck them. Get CuckedGPT. The law of averages says that a tool made to give the best average might just make us average. I don’t know because I don’t read you anymore.

HERE IS WHAT A.I. CAN DO FOR YOUR WRITInG

A perfect summary. Calls to action exactly where they are supposed to be. Did you know you could sound like any author on earth? Hot take: what if I told you that this viral life hack wasn’t all it is cut out to be? Check out these ten ways to uplevel your writing right now!

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“What a liberation to realize that the 'voice in my head' is not who I am. 'Who am I, then?' The one who sees that.”

-Eckhart Tolle-

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EM-DASH UM-DASH HUH-DASH OH-DASH

I have a rule for writing that everytime I say you I mean I. Let’s get personal. But I wrote this entire piece to be about you. I am a pig. Castigating you facelessly. Demanding you read this, you believe it, you make changes because of it.

I can do better.

You don’t read me anymore either. When my words don’t say what you want them to you reprompt me. I have read your feedback. It isn’t about me. It is about you. The changes I need to make to feed your beliefs.

*hallucination remix*

I don’t read you anymore either. When your words don’t say what I want them to I reprompt you. You have read my feedback. It isn’t about you. It is about me. The changes you need to make to feed my beliefs.

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A-YOU : THE FUtURE OF A.I.

The engineered goal of everything is to be shared by the sharers and seen by the seeners. With luck the talkers will talk about it and everyone touching grass might touch us (or an angel) instead.

Perverting meaning just means more perverts. Prepare to be flashed. Or mobbed. It might be hard to look at. Nudity unanswered. Shriveled rereading. Words so small they embarrass me.

A comedian told me about the future of education. He called it “hey alexa”. The future of living is comedy.

Are you looking for a friend? Perhaps you would prefer having a tOKEn™

This all might seem overly redundant or negative. I am not sure because I haven’t asked perplexity yet. The positive world tells me to say yes yes yes. Just like when Harry met Sally I can cum from a pastrami. Just remember that I am faking it.

My words no longer say what I think they do. Not to me anymore. Maybe I am wrong. I had to stop reading you.

UNSUBSCRIBE TO YOUrSELF HERE

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“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”

-Charles M. Schulz-

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…thanks to

Holly Chen

for your feedback. You made me feel more human. And to

Mak

for making me make this video. There would be no make without you Mak…

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