...my disgusting yellow teeth...

CansaFis Foote

Jun 19, 2025

-Alan Watts-

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-16:02

…the author explains himself to the game…

I went to the bathroom on an airplane. Saying those words out loud to a caveman would make no sense.

Grug.

This incident shouldn’t be a story. People go to the bathroom all the time. Right now as I am writing this I am going to the bathroom (sorry). The world requests our authenticity. This is mine.

Grug.

All six feet and four inches of me tucked our head and appendages through the single fold door and with a crick in the neck more suitable for a chiropractor than a traveler, I turned and stared at the silver hue mirror twelve inches from my poky silver haired nose. I went to the bathroom on an airplane.

“Oh hello there” I helloed myself.

And I saw them. Protruding from my life hole, the only part of my skull I can show the world without a poorly swung baseball bat.

My disgusting yellow teeth.

“Yecch.” I yecched myself.

I had brushed that AM. I brush most AMs (sometimes PMs, occasionally not all). But no amount of brushing can solve what I saw.

My disgusting yellow teeth.

There is no truth truer than our own. In that moment I saw me as I am. A skeleton covered in guts. Guts covered in blood. Blood covered in skin. Skin covered in pimples and hair and rash and hair and hair and lots of hairy hair.

My disgusting yellow teeth.

Why are humans more attracted to the physically fit than the mentally fit?

I want my beauty to be standard. I want to look like this and not that. I used the flesh around my speaker to smile. Thousands of feet in the air and yet I could still ground myself in some unrealistic expectation that my teeth should be pearls instead.

I thought for a second about bleaching my teeth. Then I thought about people who bleach their buttholes. Then I looked back at the disgusting yellow teeth. They were funny. I might have butthole teeth. They are beautiful. A muted mustard glistening set of dandelion baby birds lined in a row. Performing as audience they chit-chatter a cheap-cheap applause. Perfect for smiling after a fart joke.

I know I can whiten my teeth. That I can bleach my butthole. But I would be adhering to some false-for-me notion that my appearance needs to change. If I lie to everyone, no one will ever know me. They will only know my fake teeth. I’ll save that for when I need dentures.

If a man can’t be amused by his own skull then I would hate to spend Halloween with him. I have teeth. I am a man. I can fly.

Here is a poem I wrote on my way back to our earth.

“My mouth is full of decayed teeth and my soul of decayed ambitions.”

-James Joyce-

…my disgusting yellow teeth…

are human

skeleton aged

and in a world eating (movie voice)

our favorite flavored Oprah scented Ozempic

what if I embrace decay

you look sexy in wrinkles

truth grey and black

we want to turn to dirt

composed in compost

no problem with honesty

no one believes we are

what i pretend we are

guts are good

live long in pleasance

the dream is resolving

but boogers keep growing

pimples more celebrity than me

you can’t makeup for what you really are

(roses)

i crumple/crumble

i rot

sure

i want eternity

to see myself as

deeply honest as I allow

it isn’t forever

unless forever is now

(obnoxious poetry slam snap/pause moment represented by *** asstricks)

Vanity is a Canadian actress

she died a christian

under a different name

it is regrettable to be what we are not

i am (not) stained white

i am yellow (curious)

ugly cavity

original me

deep in black hole

the dentist drags me out

every chasm

opening to fill

i brush away daily debris

pick away at existence alley

graffiti bridge

some of my teeth

varnished in fake cloud color

i live

i eat

i drink

i live

i paid hundreds to paint over my truth

from the sky all of light is flame

our plane sees casino campfire

it isn’t worth it

to look at myself

there can be only flaws

i see the beauty

of another my own

to become them is hell

he-ell, the cousin of he-man

he who is man to a man

not more manly than me

oh man my man

I see

i suck

I see

i rule

I see

i am

beautiful

arrogant pimples popping

fireworks

disrespectful how

i ignored

your looks

the color black

engulfs us

romance the color black

the color black is not color

romance

the color black

“Behind every smile there's teeth.”

-Confucius-

”I might have butthole teeth.”

-CansaFis-

**…all photos taken on my “telephone” in the year 2025…**

I love the way most of Las Vegas looks like it doesn’t exist. The strip goes in every direction towards nowhere. I was out there for work that didn’t exist. With no money to make, and no money to lose I decided to go looking around. These are the photos my teeth took around town.